Be a good partner: Tips for member-guest events

Member-guest and member-member events are special and memorable tournaments with fine competition, great fun and good times. If you have never played in these types of events, there is some information and conduct you should be aware of.

The very first priority is picking a partner who you like and get along with. Sometimes there’s an art to finding a partner whose handicap gives you an advantage. I joke that some of the member-guest events amount to a “sandbagger open,” but there really isn’t anything you can do about that. The emphasis is on having fun, not winning prize money; but make no mistake, you have even more fun when you win. All of these events are handicapped, so strokes are very important. Most have multiple “flights” (i.e. divisions based on handicaps) so you can do well with a player who can perform better than his handicap at any given time. Try to avoid “blind date” partners.

Be sure to agree with your partner or guest on any sharing of costs for the event. Some guest partners insist on paying for a few things, but otherwise, the member should pay for everything. If you are the guest, consider a nice gift as a token of your appreciation – a case of wine, perhaps. Talk to folks ahead of time about wagering format and policies. Try your best to play a practice round as partners; it will make a major difference in your game as a pair. It is rather customary for private clubs to conduct a “Calcutta” betting round that can run into substantial money. Other money opportunities or “games” may take the form of skins, greenies, raffles and individual bets. Bring your wallet and have plenty of cash handy, if for no other reason than being able to pick up a few beverage tabs and generous tips.

There are a few aspects of social etiquette which come into play in most of these partner and member-guest outings. First of all, find out what the preferred and recommended attire is and by all means dress nice, during golf and after golf. Secondly, shut your cell phone off. If you must use it go somewhere out of earshot of the other folks; no one wants to listen to your self-important business conversations, or even family business. Allow for the fact that everything at a member-guest event takes more time than you expect. Be prepared for five-hour-plus rounds. Perhaps most importantly, don’t drink too much. Sometimes there is an open bar and it would be easy to lose track of how much you have had. Let someone know if it’s unsafe to drive home.

Tournaments, like scrambles, are an exceptional way to form and cement business relationships. Acting naturally in an important business situation should come automatically if you have any common sense and have been there before. Examples of things that can easily rub a business contact the wrong way are: temper tantrums, drunkenness, club throwing, foul language and whining at everything.

Golf is fast becoming a fertile ground for women to develop business contacts. A recommended book is “On Course For Business,” by Suzanne Woo. A good book for relating to new clients on the golf course is “Business to Business Golf: How to Swing Your Way to Business Success.”

My favorite read for relationship golf is “Business Golf: The Art of Building Relationships Through Golf,” by the late pro footballer and TV announcer Pat Summerall.  Here’s an excerpt:

“Golf is the only sport where personalities, and all our idiosyncrasies show their ugly little heads, so to speak. The key is to assess your guest’s personality to determine the best communication strategy in order to develop that all-important rapport.”