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If it were possible to clone human beings from history, what would they be doing today?
For instance, if we were somehow able to find a strand of DNA from Robin Hood, clone him and raise him in our modern environment, what do you reckon he’d be doing?
His genes would give him the predilection to master disguises, slink around in back rooms and rob from the rich. Obviously, he'd be in politics.
The sheriff of Nottingham, on the other hand, would rob from the rich and poor alike and have no conscience. The perfect packin' house buyer.
How 'bout Noah. Fair to middlin’ navigator, knew how to make repairs en route and kept a lot of air freshener in the pilot house. He'd make a good livestock hauler.
If we cloned an Egyptian pharaoh, where would he fit in the 20th century? Well, they spent their lifetime leaving their mark on the land for people centuries later to ponder. I believe he'd be selling ear tags.
Buffalo Bill. A showman, took advantage of cowboys and stayed one jump ahead of the creditors. He could easily slip into the boots of a rodeo producer.
Edgar Allen Poe. Thought up depressing stories that scared the wits out of people. He'd be an economist.
Poncho Villa. Inspired great loyalty in his people, came from Texas and knew all the good songs. Freddy Fender.
Attila the Hun. Pillaged and plundered the land and built monuments to his own scorched earth policy. A real estate developer.
A Roman slave. He could own his own dairy today.
The first person who crossed the Bearing Strait and introduced mastodons to the Eskimos would probably be in the llama or ostrich business now.
Lewis and Clark. Managed to make it across the country by trading trinkets to keep from getting shot. Animal health salesmen.
Chris Columbus. Had to beg for financing, made risky investments and wound up 14,000 miles off course. He'd be feeding cattle today.
Fred Flintstone. Lived in a cave, rode a dinosaur and didn't do well with strangers. Probably be herding sheep in Wyoming.
Nero. Played his fiddle while Rome burned. He'd probably have a BBQ joint in Branson, Missouri.
And finally Moses. He brought a plague on his neighbors, took orders from higher up and was good with large quantities of liquid. His clone might make a good hog confinement operator. 'Course, Moses was also lost for 40 years wandering the wilderness with no apparent means of support, so he could easily be a professional team roper.
Baxter Black is a cowboy poet, former large-animal veterinarian and entertainer of the agricultural masses. Learn more at www.baxterblack.com